September from now on not only marks the official start of the Christmas season but also, for our family, celebration of my dearest son's birthday. Oh yes, Swoosh would be 1 year old on September 26. How time really flies! Isn't it just yesterday when I first embraced him gently with my arms?
One year almost passed and there's just too much realizations about myself being a parent that made me understand my parents now more than ever. For me, the biggest realization is that being a parent makes you feel your mortality. What a deep thought, you might say. But its the truth. And just what do I mean by that?
Being a parent makes you feel how mortal you are. Surely, our children growing up is inevitable. They will get hurt, fail, cry, succeed, get lonely, be happy, love and be loved in return. Those are life's gifts to us and we will all have almost the same experience, just different situations. But when you are a parent, the thing that mostly would concern you is how to protect your child. What if you are no longer there to protect him during the bad times? Who would take care of them until age 61? Who could they lean on if times would go bad and you are out of reach?
About a month ago, there was an not-so-good experience I've encountered that made me realize this. I was on a bus heading to main avenue in Cubao because that's where I will be taking another bus going Bulacan. I loaded the bus in Santolan and immediately positioned myself to stand, since all seats are taken and a lot of people are all already standing, just at the front of the bus, near the driver and the door since main ave. is only 2-3minutes away from Santolan. The bus driver drove smoothly until intersection at P.Tuazon and we were stopped by the red traffic light. Just when the lights went on green, and our bus started moving straight ahead, another bus came cutting us off going to the left! Our bus driver immediately pushed the breaks and I was almost thrown onto the front mirror of the bus had I not grabbed the pole tightly I am holding on to. People on the bus got frightened by the incident. Most cursing the other bus. Thank God none got hurt. As for myself, I think I just had a little ankle sprain because I was caught off guard and I had to keep myself from falling by standing firmly even if my ankle got a little twisted because of the shake. It was a tolerable hurt that lasted for 2days, maybe.
Why am I sharing this? This is one of those situations I fear might happen. Can you imagine what might have happened if our bus driver was a second late from pushing that break? That was when the realization of my mortality immediately emerged from the back of my mind. What if the unfortunate happened and I was on very front of the bus? I don't want to think about it anymore but when I got home that night and saw Swoosh happily seeing me arrived at last, I cried. No, I can't bear the thought of leaving my little baby too soon. My son needs me.
Being a parent is a very tough responsibility. Your parents may not be the best parents in the world, but always remember, their existence, is not just for themselves. Their main purpose since they became a parent is to be there for you. They strive to exist for you.
I know I can never be the best mother in the whole world, but I will try to be one for my son. But if I fail to be the best parent for my child, I hope he would realize that I may not be the best but surely, I will always be the one person who would always be there for him. Watching him grow, taking care of him. And if God permits the longevity of my mortality, yes, I will take care of you... till you're 61.
One year almost passed and there's just too much realizations about myself being a parent that made me understand my parents now more than ever. For me, the biggest realization is that being a parent makes you feel your mortality. What a deep thought, you might say. But its the truth. And just what do I mean by that?
Being a parent makes you feel how mortal you are. Surely, our children growing up is inevitable. They will get hurt, fail, cry, succeed, get lonely, be happy, love and be loved in return. Those are life's gifts to us and we will all have almost the same experience, just different situations. But when you are a parent, the thing that mostly would concern you is how to protect your child. What if you are no longer there to protect him during the bad times? Who would take care of them until age 61? Who could they lean on if times would go bad and you are out of reach?
About a month ago, there was an not-so-good experience I've encountered that made me realize this. I was on a bus heading to main avenue in Cubao because that's where I will be taking another bus going Bulacan. I loaded the bus in Santolan and immediately positioned myself to stand, since all seats are taken and a lot of people are all already standing, just at the front of the bus, near the driver and the door since main ave. is only 2-3minutes away from Santolan. The bus driver drove smoothly until intersection at P.Tuazon and we were stopped by the red traffic light. Just when the lights went on green, and our bus started moving straight ahead, another bus came cutting us off going to the left! Our bus driver immediately pushed the breaks and I was almost thrown onto the front mirror of the bus had I not grabbed the pole tightly I am holding on to. People on the bus got frightened by the incident. Most cursing the other bus. Thank God none got hurt. As for myself, I think I just had a little ankle sprain because I was caught off guard and I had to keep myself from falling by standing firmly even if my ankle got a little twisted because of the shake. It was a tolerable hurt that lasted for 2days, maybe.
Why am I sharing this? This is one of those situations I fear might happen. Can you imagine what might have happened if our bus driver was a second late from pushing that break? That was when the realization of my mortality immediately emerged from the back of my mind. What if the unfortunate happened and I was on very front of the bus? I don't want to think about it anymore but when I got home that night and saw Swoosh happily seeing me arrived at last, I cried. No, I can't bear the thought of leaving my little baby too soon. My son needs me.
Being a parent is a very tough responsibility. Your parents may not be the best parents in the world, but always remember, their existence, is not just for themselves. Their main purpose since they became a parent is to be there for you. They strive to exist for you.
I know I can never be the best mother in the whole world, but I will try to be one for my son. But if I fail to be the best parent for my child, I hope he would realize that I may not be the best but surely, I will always be the one person who would always be there for him. Watching him grow, taking care of him. And if God permits the longevity of my mortality, yes, I will take care of you... till you're 61.
